I Met an Aura Reader, and Found Out My Color Was on the Inside

TLDR: It’s on the outside now—and it’s loud.

Three months ago, I booked an aura reading with an aura stylist whose editorial credits read like a VIP guest list: Goop, Elle, Marie Claire, Vogue. You get the idea. To say I was both intrigued and a teensy bit nervous would be an understatement.

You see, I’ve worked with stylists before. They’re great at picking out a few nice pieces that look good on paper, and maybe on your body (insert obligatory link to my tall girl pants rant here), but there’s usually a gap between “red thigh-high Dolce boots” (cute but impractical) and “what I’ll actually wear every day.” And that gap? It’s where style gets personal.

So I walked into this aura reading knowing myself. I know my body. I know what I like. And most importantly, I know what I’ll wear.

This, my friends, was not that.

Be Loud, Or Bust

To paint the full picture, you need to know a bit about my background—because the literal onion layers I’ve peeled back around visibility, style, and just being myself are part of the reason I booked the reading in the first place.

Here’s the short version: three years ago, I put myself in front of the camera for 30 days. Thirty photos, thirty chances to keep cringing at myself—or not. (You can read about it here, courtesy of The Good Trade.) That experiment cracked something open in me. I stopped treating photos like courtroom evidence of my flaws and started seeing them for what they were: proof of my life.

It turns out, the “not” was revolutionary. That experiment didn’t just change how I saw myself—it cracked open my entire approach to visibility; it’s called The Method. It’s original to me. And it’s not just how I show up—it’s how I teach others to do the same.

Fast forward to today: I’ve made it my mission to help women untangle the knot tying their self-worth to their image. To rewrite the narratives that keep us small, invisible, not too much of a burden, and definitely not too loud. We’ve been trained to believe that visibility is dangerous. That being bold, vibrant, or too much is somehow a threat.

So why, after all that, did I decide to get an aura reading? Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was the Vogue credits. Or maybe, deep down, I wanted someone else to name what I already felt brewing: that I was ready to be more.

And When Busting’s Not an Option

Here’s what you need to know about the reading: it wasn’t some mystical “here’s your vibe, good luck” experience. It was collaborative. Susanna didn’t just name my color—she showed me why I should wear it and pulled looks together, personalized for me. (Yes, yes, I’m getting to the “good part” and promise I’ll spill my aura color—sit tight.)

Now, if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably noticed something: my Instagram has gone technicolor. Chromatic. Some might even say loud.

People DM me, “Have you always been this colorful, or is this new?” And you know what I realized? The color was there the whole time—I was just keeping it locked up like a firework no one dared to light. (I lit it.)

One more thing you should know about those 30 days and the years that followed before we get to the big reveal. When I first put myself in front of the camera, I started with the goal of getting photos I wouldn’t hate and delete but over that month each sitting became about learning where my boundaries were. Learning to stop looking outward for validation and start trusting what I felt, what I saw, what I knew to be true about myself.

It was about self-trust. And for most of my life, self-trust meant being right.

Growing up, trusting myself didn’t mean listening to my intuition or following that quiet, knowing pull in my gut. It meant making the correct choice. If I spoke, if I had an opinion, if I wanted something, I’d better be certain—because if I was wrong, there were consequences. Sharp ones.

I learned early that safety wasn’t about tuning into myself. It was about avoiding mistakes. Every decision carried weight, every wish had stakes. One wrong move, one incorrect choice, and suddenly, the ground beneath me wasn’t solid anymore.

So, I adapted. I got really, really good at reading the room. I could sense a mood shift before a word was spoken. I became hyper-aware of what other people needed, what would keep things stable, what would keep me safe. And eventually, I became fluent in a language that wasn’t even mine—regulating other people’s nervous systems while neglecting my own.

In other words? I became an expert people-pleaser. Let’s get this straight, people pleasing isn’t about wanting others to be happy, it’s about safety and self neglect, specifically yours.

That’s why those 30 days (and now years) in front of the camera mattered so much. They weren’t about learning to pose or capturing a good angle. They were about standing still, seeing myself without distortion, and learning to trust what I saw—what I felt—to feel safe with myself.

There’s a difference between being right and being aligned. And once I stopped treating my self-trust like a high-stakes test, once I let myself simply want—things changed.

There will always be more layers to peel back, more ways I catch myself overriding my own voice. But now? Now, there’s a wide, wonderful world of dopamine-fueled color to drench myself in, to let spill out in every direction.

And isn’t that a delight?

Tangerine, Fuchsia, and Cobalt, Oh My!

After the aura reading with Susanna, I didn’t just start wearing more color. I studied it. I spent hours on Pinterest (mood board magic post coming soon, loves), playing with combinations that felt impossible—banana yellow and turquoise, tangerine and fuchsia, purple and cobalt with just the right print.

I made a strategic list of the colors I wanted in my wardrobe—not just what I loved in theory, but what I could actually wear, what made sense for my life. I had to understand how they worked together, how they didn’t, and how wearing them could literally shift my mood.

Friend, I learned how to play again.

I hadn’t had this much fun with style since my teenage Flashdance era, when I cut the necks out of every sweatshirt I owned. And let me tell you, the advice about “wearing less color as you age”? Absolute BS. I’m in my 50s - take from that what you will.

Let Me Put You Onto This Trick

You know those swoony, fabulous interior photos you see on Instagram? The ones that grace the covers of Domino, AD, and more? Go find one with color—not the minimal, same-same aesthetic that’s been blanketing IG for years. I’ll wait…

Got it?

Okay. Now, look at each item in the space. Now picture it without the rug. Or the couch. It’s not the same, right? The magic is in the balance.

That’s why when you bring home that same rug or couch, and it suddenly looks meh in your space, it’s because the rest of the elements that made it work in the photo aren’t there.

Same with an outfit.

Now, I have shape and proportion down—that’s my safe world of black, grey, and brown. But adding a pop of color against all the darkness in my closet? It was jarring. Like throwing a bright Persian rug into a stark, modern space and wondering why it doesn’t hit the same way it did in the perfectly styled photo.

To work, to really work, I needed to bring in all the colors. I used these cute and colorful outfit ideas from my aura reading as a starting point and then make it my own first by building Pinterest boards then slowly purchasing items I found that spoke to me, piece by piece. Think baby steps.

Outfits for My Aura, Styled by Susanna Merrick

And because I know you’re going to ask—I’ll share my mood boards here. The ones I studied, the ones I created mostly using Pinterest (plus a few other sources I’ll share soon.) And I broke them down the same way I learned to with room design to strategically shop for the pieces I really wanted and knew I’d actually wear.

My Aura Style Inspiration

The Big Reveal (You’ve Earned It)

Okay, you’ve waited long enough. You’re here for the mystical, magical woo part. You want to know: what was my color?

Come closer. I’ll whisper it—because you know I’d never gatekeep this from you.

That day, it was yellow. Of course it was. Wanna know what yellow means for me…?

P.S. The Shift Is Real

Since shifting what I put on my body, working with color in a new way, I’ve wanted more—more color, more creativity, more joy. I hung wallpaper with flowers the size of small planets and shared the saga on my podcast. I revived this Substack with new ambition and purpose (heyyy). And I brought my full creative force to Instagram, without regret.

And while I don’t attribute this entirely to new clothes—I’ve done the work, after all—it has been the perfect spark, the right door to open at the right time for me. The moment I realized that everything I wanted was already there.

And now? It’s on the outside, too.

Because why hide your color when you can wear it?